Saturday, December 31, 2005

CHECK THIS OUT

in a twist of fate! while surfing for torrents, i chanced upon this link:

Top Scientists Validating the Supernatural Universe

in a nutshell, the article talks about Zero Point Energy and how it resembles the Force of Star Wars acclaim, and - brace yourselves - how this whole theory is being studied by frontier scientists. will this be the big religio-scientific connection i've been searching for? god knows.

and for those who wanna read something less boring, try god of the hopeless, a skit i created from thin air.

Friday, December 30, 2005

almost blasphemous...

yet an utterly lovely analogy filled with amazing anthropic sweetness. yes i'm using those goddamned vague terms, but they still mean something nonetheless! and so we move on to yet another plagiarised oxygen~
"intellectual property is only intellectual when shared."

22 Dec

MUD REFLECTING GOD


"What dirty, dreadful, disgusting stuff!" exclaimed a man referring to the mud along the streets of London.

"Hold on, my friend," said Ruskin, "not so dreadful after all. what are the elements of this mud? First, there is sand; but when its particles are crystallized according to the law of Nature, what is nicer than clean white sand? And when that which enters into it is arranged according to the still higher law, we have matchless opal."

"What else have we in this mud? Clay. And the materials of clay, when the particles are arranged according to their higher laws, make the brilliant sapphire."

"What other ingredients enter into the London mud? Soot. And soot in its crystallized perfection, forms the diamond."

"There is but one other - water. And water, when distilled according to the higher law of its nature, forms the dewdrop resting in exquisite perfection in the heart of the rose."

"So, in the muddy, lost soul of man is hidden thr image of his Creator; and God will do His best to find His opals, sapphires, His Diamonds, and His dewdrops."

- E. L. Moon (1000 Stories You Can Use, Volume Two by Frank Mihalic, SVD)

Do you know what makes up your make up?

Thursday, December 29, 2005

oxygenated

sighs... have been slacking off lately with my zeal to read oxygen... i had almost 40 unread oxygens in my mailbox last time i checked! but herein comes a new challenge... to read thru old oxygens. and tho old they may be, each fresh insight still hits me like a lemon. like this one:

11 Dec - Third Sunday of Advent

HOME AND HEAVEN

A little boy always wanted to visit the place where heaven and earth meet. He could see it quite plainly from his mother's cottage and he thought the place where heaven came down to earth must be very beautiful.

With his eyes fixed on the horizon, the "meeting place of heaven and earth" be began one day, to walk. He walked on and on until he became very tired. he found himself in a valley where the horizon lay hidden from view: A cottage was near, and a woman was standing in the door. He told her of his quest, and she pointed out a house not so very far away.

"There it is," she said, "only hurry; it will soon be dark." He hurried on and was soon climbing the hill that led to his own home. And there in the doorway was his mother waving him a greeting.
"My own home," he thought to himself, "the place where heaven and earth meet."

- Drinkwater (1000 Stories You Can Use, Volume Two by Frank Mihalic, SVD)

Do you recognise your own home as the place where heaven and earth meet?

just imaginary

~~~ i m a g i n e . . .

...if i had gotten a guitar when i was 5, would i have practiced still my fingers bled and set my eyes on turning into a guitar virtuoso? would i have quit school, spent half my time with the guitar everyday and neglected everything else? what if i was simply classically trained in, say piano or violin (like the rest of bourgeois singapore)? would i have skipped NS like a certain someone? would i be even more megalomaniacal than i already am right now?

...if my parents had divorced when i was in sec sch, would i be better off? would i be more matured? would i have had such a dramatically different experience in life that my entire personality would have been something else altogether? would my mum be happier? would my bro be happier? would my dad be happier? would i be happier? would it have mattered?

...if i never doubted anything, prefering to simply leave it in the hands of some higher authority, shrewdly sidestepping occasions which would draw me to ask unnecessary philosophical questions, would i still be serving in church? could i have become a slipshod atheist? or worse still - a clueless "believer"? will i end up closer to heaven or hell? will i make more friends or lose them all? would i be happier not attempting to understand what "happy" meant?

...if the entire universe were to say "fuck it" to the current laws of physics, would our souls be affected? if we found some way to warp dimensional rigidity, would it be universally catastrophic? what if physics discovers God in this peculiar fashion? what if the future of the entire known universe depended on that one scientist's decision to take that "leap" and go beyond understanding/obeying the rules? if that decision were up to me, would i have said "hell yeah" nonchalantly without thought?

...if every individual on the planet were to suddenly be awakened to the reality that social rules are not necessarily obligatory unless consequentially implied, would there be chaos or peace? what if each soldier realised that they weren't fighting for their "country" but some political/diplomatic blunder? what if we realised that most laws and the entire modern judiciary system only serve to protect the rich bullies who didn't need the protection in the first place? what if the popes, dalai lamas, and mullahs where to say that most religious doctrines only tell you to accept your fate in order to keep you docile and manageable? what if you found out that most cultural norms and taboos are no more than transient fads destined to be superseded in some manner by people who dare to do so? what if society isn't god and never was... but we've all been blind slaves to an imaginary one in our minds?

...if i were to cease existing tmr, would it matter in any metaphysical sense? how about socio-evolutionarily? parapsychologically? i know it'd matter to quite a few people in some plausible manner, but above and beyond that... would i get to see God if i ceased to exist? if i ceased to exist, then what? how about if my entire existence prior to that were to be wiped off in some mythical way? what if i don't cease to exist physically, but all instances of my existence are to be erased? what if i became an undetectable ghost? what would that be like?

and that's why i'm human - i can imagine. can you?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

what is feeling?

"staring into someone's eyes and wondering why they stare back at yours."

"hearing a voice over the phone and attempting to explain the strange sweetness it conveys."

"brushing someone's arm and falling into the dilemma of restraining yourself from plotting to reconstruct that scenario again even when it felt so damn good."

"smiling yourself silly without ever stopping to wonder why."

"that subconscious effort to talk about stuff other than yourself, to especially focus on stuff to do with that someone."

"walking and walking and walking... without ever feeling it."

"vulnerability that doesn't get abused."

"time well spent."

...and so you see, for someone attempting to deconstruct feelings, it's still impossible to escape its infinite grasp. indeed, it's almost like the more you attempt to distance yourself, the closer it breathes down your throbbing neck. feelings do not care if you understand them or not... they just go ahead and happen. it's like rain... you don't know it's started till it hits you.

so... why this rush of quixotic emotion? if only i had a handle on this situation... yet strangely i don't consider myself lost - in fact i feel like i've found myself, somewhat? my existence continues to confound me in the weirdest manners possible (as the reason in my head would have it).

now that something within me has been laid so utterly bare... what next? should i prepare to apprehend these fleeting ghosts of reality experienced? should i embolden myself for some affirmative action? shoud i consider embracing myself for some devastating aftershocks? i do not wish to pursue clairvoyance, but how i wish i knew what lies ahead.

i guess i should wait.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

wake me up when december ends

cheesy? no, really... december has been tough. i truly wish i could sleep thru the rest of it... but i can't, and i won't. i don't know whether to call it my stubborn streak, that adamant pride reluctant to groan in defeat as the gruelling schedule keeps up, or just simply denial.

what am i working my ass off for?

the retreat refreshed all the doubts that haunted me for the past few months. i had counted on the retreat being a refreshing experience alright, but not in this sense! here's a list of questions i thought i'd need to answer before being capable of contributing as a proper catholic:
The Tract of Doubts
Who is God? Jesus? Love? Reason? Society?
What is Humanity? Experience? Emotion?
Submission - what does it take?
Ego-centrism? Pride? Who else is involved?
Leap of Faith - why leap? What do we abandon?
The question of intent... for what purpose?
Why ask? Why question? What does the doubter gain?
Pursuit of Truth? What is Truth? Is there Truth?
Knowledge vs Wisdom: is it wise to know?
Desire... Thirst... Hunger... Craving...
Human paradigms? To be abandoned?
Defiance, Arrogance; where's the line?
Scepticism, Incredulity; what's the aim?
The Search for Answers: Magisterium?
Where doubts remain unaddressed, what do i believe?
Expectation, Satisfaction; primality of self?
Deconstruction: an end unto itself?
Objectivity/Subjectivity, why one or the other?
Priority? Focus? What deserves my attention?
Choose: is there Choice?
i don't know why i ask so many questions... is it some queer form of ego-trip? trying to act cheem? trying to go where no man should? challenging the powers that be? where does this perverted lust for tearing concepts apart come from?? why should i cave in to its demands??

it torments me to be unable to accept simple theories which may be flawed due to philosophical nitpicking; yet neither am i able to accept them without claiming a thorough understanding of all the vague terminology they tend to use. but the problem remains that i am not able to thoroughly study all these alleged logical inconsistencies nor investigate the controversies surrounding my faith.

so how? i still gotta go caroling, still gotta go mass, still gotta do what i've been doing. gotta? i don't know... now i don't feel like doing anything... until i understand what feeling means... i might never really feel like doing anything anymore.

this december might just never end... or i could re-read Psalm 119.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

new old blog!

wahaha... while posting a comment to jon's blog post (xanga) i realised i need an account to submit, so i tried typing in 'alveolate' in the username - and guess what? it's taken! by ME! a couple of years back i think... it's one of my forgotten blogs... memories of when i was a young goon intent to ruin the world with his impetuous antics. well, i think it was supposed to be private, but screw it, here it is for the interested.

alveolate 08 june ~ 16 nov 2003

damn, for a private blog, the url was awfully easy to guess... so much for all that smug vacuous confidence in my intelligence... back then.

update: omg... after reading a few articles... even i myself am amazed at the level of clarity i possessed back then... in fact, compared to my current posts... i'd say those xanga ones were of far higher quality... i had no idea such expressibility of the mind had existed before... i'm in awe of my old posts! and so i recognise... that i've... depreciated... degenerated... become a doll of the puppet master.

ode to cute guys

crazy song inspired by singing while bothering with my darned looks... it's actually singable! haha. i'm becoming a closet rocker wannabe... so much for antiestablishmentarianism.

CUTE GUY!
=========
what if i was a cute guy
albeit just a little shy
would u still just pass me by
or would u give me a try

of all the things that money could buy
shd i spend on looks or on humble pie
but don't you wish that i would try
to judge u not by the size of your thighs

CHORUS
hey... i don't wanna be a cute guy
oh... but i wanna be your guy
why oh why must i wear that tie
yeah... you gotta realise
that who i am... is what's inside

what if i was a little high
screaming left and right dreaming i'm a jedi knight
would u simply just pass me by
or would u be edified

cute guys sweet guys loaded guys
could you tell if they had lied
nice guys suave guys hunky guys
aren't their lives too simplified

CHORUS

BRIDGE (maybe some silly solo)

hey... what a beautiful life
oh... it's so good that i could die
yeah... it's all a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT!!!
haha! you gotta realise!
that who you are... is what's inside

ENDING
ooo... cuteness is just a disguise...
what cute guy? i'm just me.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

le contrôleur grand

what if society is god... and god is merely a puppet?
what if this god of a puppet is slave to something sinister?

who, then, would the Grand Comptroller be?

peace... order... rules... laws... restraints... constraints... control... power...
time... priority... occupation... rationalisation... dehumanisation... alienation...
religion... belief... faith... reason... doubt...
culture... propaganda... ideology... lies...
morality... teleology... purpose... existence...
life... humanity... psychology... conditions... emotions...


emotion.
a small word, and yet so powerful... amongst the multiplicity of our masters, is she not the one to whom we're most intimately and inextricably bound? for all our achievements as human beings, can any of us claim freedom from the sweetest dominatrix of all? even as we conquer mundane obstacles... could we claim superordination over her and yet remain human?

worry.
by virtue of the rational faculties each mind assumes it possesses, we keep ourselves perpetually worrying... worrying about what-ifs, what-nots; worrying about uncertainties, confidence; worrying about minute details, the big picture. there exists not a situation for anyone to truly exist with no worries save for death, and yet we formulated society simply to escape such a brutish existence!

embarassment.
beyond the formal rules and cultural norms, something "automatic" within each of us attempts to rein us in - the blush and self-criticism. we endlessly, needlessly, lambast ourselves when, in a moment of courageous folly, we may have flaunted behavioural prescriptions. and so a self-restraining device casts a spell of inordinate fear imprisoning our every action from our firm control.

so you thought you were in control... but are you really? when was the last time you truly made a choice? when was the last time you even had one? if le contrôleur grand gives you a list of choices, are you then less of a puppet in any way?

society is god, and god is a puppet
the strong remain in control
but the weak may never know
leaning precariously over the parapet
will i let go and fly
off the show and the lies
and knowingly die without regret?
yet here are my feet
shuffling in defeat
i'm still firmly rooted to this carpet

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

the front pew

i'm a roman catholic. 'roman' largely due to religiously inconsequential historical factors, i.e. stuff that's good to know trivia with little effect on one's relationship with god. or is it?

mass... the thing we attend as part of our weekly routine. for some it's spiritually recharging, for others a source of divine inspiration. yet others may consider it the highest form of worship. but i suggest that a vast majority never think that far.

what makes a sacrament? as i watch a few hundreed glass-eyed parishioners file forward for their dose of communion, it makes me wonder. what do they think? why do they say 'amen' to the 'body of christ'? why do they bring their kids up for 'blessing'? why do some make the sign of the cross? is a sacrament little more than a personal interpretation of some symbolism-laden rituals? what are the consequences for us as persons? if there's such a thing, our 'spirituality'? our 'relationship with god'? these imprecise and hardly quantifiable concepts which seem so central to my very existence continue to torment me. am i being taken for a grand ride? could life really be meaningless, just as it currently feels?

and yet, setting all these abhorrent doubts and perturbing consternation aside, mass at nativity failed to recharge, inspire, or constitute some form of worship for me. while my faith simmers in denouement, the church and the religion persistently demands rote effort of me.

i sit in the front pew, but i truly am far from being inside the church.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

NKF hasn't died down!

in the spirit of catholic ascetism, i have decided to show you what happens when you simply ignore where the money goes. Sg_Review leads the way yet again, with the (presumably real) email below sent to the various relevant organisations:

----------
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2005 22:40:07 -0800 (PST)
From: Jeffrey Ho
Subject: Televised Charity Show in July 2005 - Donation to NKF Cancer Fund

To: Feedback Unit - MCYS

cc. MDA/News Corp/BBC/WSJ/NYT/IHT/Sydney Morning Herald/Sg_Review


I refer to the various media reports:

1. Channel News Asia (19 Nov 2005) - MediaCorp produced NKF charity show at discounted rates
LINK - http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/179492/1/.html
2. Today (18 Nov 2005) - "Set the reocrd straight"
LINK - http://www.todayonline.com/articles/85080.asp
3. Electric New Paper (18 Nov 2005) - "Were costs too high?"
LINK - http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,97515-1132329540,00.html?

I am outraged that at the end of the day, out of every dollar I (and many more Singaporeans, many of whom may be out of job or amongst the 250,000 or so "New Poor" earning less than S$1,000 per month) donated to the Cancer Fund during its televised charity show in July 2005, only 25% have so far been channelled to the Fund.

What is more outrageous is the reports that the only 2 media companies in Singapore controlled by the Singapore government, MediaCorp and SPH, received almost $4.5m of the $11 million raised (some 40%), with MediaCorp (the host of the televised charity show) pocketing some $2.5 million and the rest in advertising and promotion cost.

First of all, like many SIngaporeans, I had expected that every dollar of my donation should go to the "true" beneficiaries, the pitiful cancer patients the show highlighted. Had I known that only 25% of every dollar I would donate would go to these patients, I might have acted differently. It is bad enough that the government is not subsidizing sufficiently the medical care and costs (of certain cancer drugs highlighted in a recent Straits Times article by Chua Mui Hoong) of these cancer patients, but to have some of these hard-earned donations from the generous contributions of compassionate (and maybe even "gullible", in the words of Lee Wei Ling) Singaporeans go into its coffers (through its ownership of MediaCorp and SPH) is not acceptable.

Would you be kind enough to answer the following questions uppermost on my mind:

1. MediaCorp said the shows were produced at a discount - not at cost. What was their profit margin?

2. What about the Advertising and Promotion cost (of approx $2 million) "donated" to MediaCorp, SPH and Today newspapers - did they profit from it or were they "charged" at cost?

3. Presumably, MediaCorp and SPH account for these "fees" as revenue in their Income Statement (since MediaCopr admitted as much that the donations from Singaporeans would be treated as a "commercial" deal), so this income will form part of their profit distributable to shareholders and staff. Am I right?

4. So far, only about $7.5 million have been accounted ($4.5 m to MediaCorp/SPH and $3 m to the Cancer Fund). What about the remaining $3.5 million? ($11m was reportedly raised with $2m pledged but not collected yet)

5. In the New Paper report, it said that, "The NKF is expecting another $2 million or so from pledges made but not yet collected". If this amount is not collected, would MediaCorp and SPH still pocket their $4.5 million, resulting in MediaCorp and SPH pocketing some 50% of the donation?

I wonder if other reputable media companies (like the BBC, News Corp, New York Times, International Herald Tribune, Wall Street Journal, etc - to whom I've copied here) would ever do such acts in the name of charity?

Rgds
Jeff Ho
An outraged and "gullible" Singaporean

Sunday, November 20, 2005

a question of constitution

does anyone know any girl by the name of Sue? if she's Canadian, she's likely to be less corrupted than if she's Singaporean. read on to find out why...

'Corrupt' ruling appealed
Ont. energy firm challenges $5.4M judgment
Richard Foot, CanWest News Service, Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Canadian company wants an Ontario court to dismiss a multimillion dollar judgment reached against it in Singapore on the grounds Singapore's justice system is corrupt and unlawful.

The landmark case has wide implications for Canadians doing business overseas. Never before, say lawyers for both sides, has a commercial case dealt with the question of whether a foreign judgment can be enforced in Canada because the courts that issued it may be inherently unfair.

Lawyers for EnerNorth Industries Inc., a Toronto-based energy services company, will make that argument before the Ontario Court of Appeal in April, in a bid to avoid paying a $5.4-million US judgment awarded to Oakwell Engineering Ltd., a Singapore firm.

One of EnerNorth's lawyers, David Wingfield, said if the Singapore decision is upheld in Canada, a precedent will be set which would turn the Canadian courts into "little more than a glorified sheriff's department for all foreign legal systems -- no matter how odious or compromised they are by reason of government influence or monetary bribery."

Oakwell's lawyer, Ed Babin, said Canadian courts enforce judgments from other countries all the time and that refusing to do so in this case would carve out "a dramatic change" in the law.

In 1997, EnerNorth embarked on a project with Oakwell to finance, build and operate two power plants in India. In 2002, after the project ran into problems, Oakwell sued EnerNorth in the Singapore courts -- where each company had previously agreed they would settle any disputes.

The trial and appeal courts in Singapore allowed Oakwell's claim, awarding it damages against EnerNorth. Because EnerNorth's assets arein Canada, Oakwell asked a Canadian court to enforce the decision.

Last August, Ontario Superior Court Justice Gerald Day agreed with Oakwell's request, dismissing arguments by EnerNorth that the Singapore judgment is tainted by that country's allegedly corrupt and biased legal system.

"If this court were to accept the argument of general bias in this case, it would mean that no judgments from Singapore courts would be enforceable in Ontario," wrote Day in his decision,

But in documents filed with the Ontario Court of Appeal, EnerNorth's lawyers say Day failed to apply the proper legal test required of Canadian courts when enforcing foreign judgments.

In 2003 -- in a case involving a decision from a U.S. court -- the Supreme Court of Canada said Canadian courts can only recognize a foreign judgment if the foreign legal system meets Canadian constitutional standards.

The Singapore decision is the first foreign judgment, issued in a country other than Britain or the U.S., to be tested under this principle, said Wingfield. EnerNorth says Singapore's justice system fails to meet Canadian standards by almost every measure.

"Singapore is ruled by a small oligarchy who control all facets of the Singapore state including the judiciary, which is utterly politicized," the company's court documents say. "The judiciary bends over backwards to support the government's and ruling elite's interests."

The documents also say Oakwell is a subsidiary of a Singapore conglomerate whose owners have close ties with Singapore's government and ruling party and that the judges who presided over the case in Singapore also have close ties with Singapore's leaders.

Day said he could find "no cogent evidence" that there was specific bias toward Oakwell by the Singapore courts. However, EnerNorth says evidence of general bias, or systemic corruption, is enough to reject the judgment in Canada.

"EnerNorth is faced with having its assets seized under Canadian law to pay a judgment that was granted by a corrupt legal system before biased judges in a jurisdiction that operates outside the rule of law," the company's documents say.

© The Edmonton Journal 2005

source:
The Edmonton Journal

For related discussions see:
1) Mellanie Hewlitt; Lifting The Veil On Singapore Politics
2) Carl Kapeland: Legitimized Corruption Understood

yup... Sue's just a bad pun on the local kangaroo courts. but it also protects me from getting Sue-d because i'm not talking law at all! heh heh. anyway, all the above were plagiarised from Sg_Review la, in case you thought i'm so free.

Friday, November 18, 2005

curve the bell

sick and bored of exams? think you're a goner and feeling a sense of indescribable insecurity? well... there's always something you can do about it! here're some suggestions:
(warning: not all ideas have been practically tested. some may get you kicked.)

...make your presence felt
- dress outrageously. if someone's judging your dressing, that someone's distracted.
- chemical warfare. scent yourself pungently, attack your neighbour's olfactory nerves!
- indigestion. fart to any Mozart piece with impunity. not recommended for music exams.
- sonic booms. flip your papers loudly, click your pens incessantly, drag your chairs, etc.
- clumsiness. keep dropping stuff that you are not gonna use. drop them as far away as possible.
- tuberculosis. no, not cough to cheat; but cough to frustrate... or earn free strepsils.
- exeunt. when leaving, accidentally bump into adjacent folks, then apologise profusely.

...casting doubts unto others
- before it starts, tell your neighbours how you think this paper is easy and that they'll do fine.
- drop your answers once (or more) during the exam into your neighbours field of vision.
- simulate flipping your question paper with demonic speed. (flip forward, then flip back, etc.)
- always ask for more paper. but do not frustrate the same invigilator.
- exhibit extreme calulator dexterity: use it with one hand at 200wpm (audibly, of course).
- look focused, confidently smirk while shaking your head, and laugh softly periodically.
- smile and nod at all passing invigilators who make eye-contact.

...make friends and (mis)use them
- borrow stationery from everyone around you, whether you use it or not.
- tell them to be wary of their neighbour whom you suspect would copy their answers.
- wish them good luck and give an overly-firm handshake designed to crush their spirit.
- leave your phone (with a set alarm) under your neighbour's table. make sure set to full volume.
- invite your neighbours to discuss the answers after the exam.
- share your freaky amulets and ghoulish talismans with them, claiming to bring them luck.

so you see... the bell curve is not necessarily out of your control or a neutral tool. with the "right state of mind" and "keen creativity", anyone can curve the bell even on the last day of exams!

##########

critique of examinations: losers of the system become dissidents

the institution of 2-hour final papers is a subjective and unfair burden to all students, especially final papers which make up a large (make-or-break) percentage and essay questions requiring an impossible outline with no resources for quoting.
- there should be multiple smaller tests each designed to distribute a percentage of the grade.
- open book, multiple choice, and structured questions should be more common.
- where the objective is to distinguish brilliant students, non-stressful methods should be used.
- all methods of grading should be addressed against a backdrop of authoritatively approved aims and objectives for the grading itself. this list of goals for grading should be publicised (at minimum, all students should be made aware) and opened up for criticism and dialogue.

a further injustice is done with institutions that refuse to return the graded papers for fair scrutiny and review, further compounded by charging a fee for regrading.
- if the institution wants to keep any material, they should seek permission and inform us of the reason(s) to do so.
- if the grade is to be decided behind closed doors, the graders should at least detail their standards of marking and show them real examples.
- regrading should not be charged, and where fees are imposed, the reason(s) must be made known and appropriation of such monies justified.

there is a commonly-heard argument: if others can ace it, why can't you? this somewhat misleading and fallacious argument ignores the institutional injustices inscribed into the exams. if you ace an unfair exam, are you truly better? each exam goes some way in defining YOUR FUTURE. do you agree with the way they are defining it for you?

and for christ's sake, mugging is a negative externality generated by this oppressive regime. submit to it at your own peril, or be awakened and fight it.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Nguyen Tuong Van

although the language was less than satisfactory, but that's because he's an aussie. that aside, his opinions are quite exemplary - i definitely concur with his sense of indignance. his passion for Tuong Van is definitely more than just aussie.

Singapore's deadly sling (excerpt from The Age)
By Mark Baker
October 25, 2005

AT DAWN on a Friday soon a young Australian will be taken from his death-row cell in the grey colonial pile of Singapore's Changi Prison, fitted with a hood and noose and dropped to oblivion through a gallows trapdoor. A few hours later his broken body will be handed back to his family.

In the island metropolis to our north, a place that admires itself through a polished veneer of modernity and sophistication, the city-state's brand of justice will be delivered with all the subtlety and compassion of the Middle Ages.

Yet few beyond his family, friends and dogged legal team are likely to mourn the passing of Nguyen Tuong Van, convicted heroin trafficker. As one of his Melbourne lawyers, Julian McMahon, observed despairingly at the weekend, Nguyen is not the kind of pretty young Anglo-Saxon damsel whose distress ignites national indignation.

But there are good reasons Australians should be alarmed and angered by the impending execution of the 25-year-old former Melbourne salesman — and why they should be demanding a much more vigorous response from the Federal Government to the final rejection of his plea for clemency than the limp resignation we are now witnessing from John Howard and Alexander Downer.

In short, Nguyen is to be hanged on a pretext that flouts the principles, if not the letter, of international law, after a flawed trial and after a comprehensive diplomatic snub that makes a mockery of the supposedly close political, defence and business friendship between Singapore and Australia.

Nguyen was arrested at Changi Airport in December 2002 after a routine security check revealed 396 grams of heroin strapped to his body and hidden in his hand luggage. Under Singapore law — the harshest in Asia — anyone found with more than 15 grams of heroin is deemed a trafficker and the mandatory sentence is death.

But the verdict that Nguyen was trafficking into Singapore is a nonsense. He was arrested in the airport transit lounge while preparing to board a plane for the second leg of a journey from Cambodia to Australia. He had not passed through Singapore immigration and he had no intention of entering Singapore. Even neighbouring Malaysia — which has hanged three Australians for drug trafficking since the 1980s — acknowledges a legal distinction between people who formally enter a country and those who are merely in transit (those found with drugs in transit face a relatively modest jail sentence).

Nguyen's lawyers did not pursue this obvious defence because the Singapore courts — which adopt the airs and trappings of their British colonial ancestry but are in practice a deeply politicised law unto themselves — have flatly refused such arguments in the past.

The trial itself and the subsequent failed appeal were also flawed. The judges ignored evidence that might well have brought an acquittal in the Australian courts, or other properly independent jurisdictions.

The Singapore judges ignored evidence that the arresting and investigating police had themselves broken the law by denying Nguyen Australian consular support before he was interrogated, and had failed to secure the evidentiary drugs that showed significant and unexplained variations when weighed at different times. No action was taken against a senior police officer who gave contradictory testimony.

The trial judge also brushed aside a compelling defence argument that mandatory death sentences — which have helped create a world's-worst-practice of 400 people executed in Singapore since the early 1990s — are a violation of international human rights standards.

Singapore's mandatory sentencing regime also meant no consideration could be given to mitigating circumstances or the character of the defendant. And there was plenty that should have been heard.

Born in a refugee camp in Thailand and raised by a struggling single mother in Melbourne, Nguyen was not a drug addict, a drug trader or even an avaricious "mule" for a drug syndicate. Naive and desperate, he was pressured into making the trip to Cambodia to repay substantial debts owed by his twin brother to loan sharks. Nguyen and his family were threatened before he left Australia.

In the end, Singapore's uncompromising policy on mandatory sentencing made a conviction virtually inevitable, but last week's failure of the petition for a presidential pardon — Nguyen's last lifeline — has raised more disturbing issues.

While the Federal Government gave strenuous support to the application for a pardon, including a personal plea by Howard to Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong during a visit to Singapore earlier this year, Canberra's increasing ambivalence about capital punishment surely undermined the credibility of its argument.

What is left of principle when one day Australia's Government cheers the death penalty for Bali bombers, on another its police assist in sending accused drug runners to face the death penalty abroad and the next it tries to argue against a hanging on humanitarian grounds?

The refusal of a pardon to Nguyen, dictated by the Singapore cabinet, now stands as a stinging diplomatic rebuff to Howard personally and Australia as a whole. And this from a nation that is supposed to be our best friend in South-East Asia and the neighbour with which we have the strongest strategic, commercial and personal links.

The Prime Minister and the Foreign Minister now solemnly shake their heads and lament there is nothing more that can be done. But there is plenty that can be done by Australians who believe state-sanctioned killing — however odious the crime — has no place in a civilised society.

They can boycott Singapore-owned companies such as Optus and Singapore Airlines, they can take their shopping holidays elsewhere, they can protest against the thousands of Singapore military who train on Australian soil and they can start flying to Europe via Bangkok — not a bad idea when a visit to the transit lounge at Changi Airport can finish in a cell at Changi prison.

Mark Baker is opinion editor. He was Asia editor, based in Singapore, from 2001 to 2004 and reported the arrest and trial of Nguyen Tuong Van.

(Lifted wholesale and unedited from The Age without express permission. If you are from The Age and would like me to remove this article, please write me. All credit should go to The Age.)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

breathe oxygen

wahaha i'm back to ripping off of Oxygen again! if you feel like you need a little spiritual food in your mailbox everyday, don't hesitate to burn 5 calories and clicking this link. trust me la, you won't regret one. this one i copied wholesale from the email i receive daily, sometimes a few hours late, but hey they've got their own lives too yea! as a team they're still really good la. so please enjoy... and give thanks to god for the gift of their ministry.

26 Oct

DEATH AS A LAW OF LIFE


Around us everyday we see many examples of death bringing forth life. A kernel of corn is buried and it grows into a tall cornstalk. The ice cube dissolves and it cools the water. A match burns itself out to light a fire. Water gets itself dirty to clean you. A battery goes dead giving you music and light. Wood burns itself out to cook your food. A tree dies to give you sago. Animals and plants die to give you your food.

By dying, all these things rise to a higher life. This is what Christian mortification is all about.

- Frank Mihalic (1000 Stories You Can Use, Volume Two by Frank Mihalic, SVD)

Will you die to yourself so that others may live?
_____________________

Romans 8:26-30

The Spirit comes to help us in our weakness. For when we cannot choose words in order to pray properly, the Spirit himself expresses our plea in a way that could never be put into words, and God who knows everything in our hearts knows perfectly well what he means, and that the pleas of the saints expressed by the Spirit are according to the mind of God.

We know that by turning everything to their good God co-operates with all those who love him, with all those that he has called according to his purpose. They are the ones he chose specially long ago and intended to become true images of his Son, so that his Son might be the eldest of many brothers. He called those he intended for this for those he called he justified, and with those he justified he shared his glory.
____________________

Luke 13:22-30

Through towns and villages Jesus went teaching, making his way to Jerusalem. Someone said to him, "Sir, will there be only a few saved?" He said to them, "Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.

"Once the master of the house has got up and locked the door, you may find yourself knocking on the door, saying, 'Lord, open to us' but he will answer, 'I do not know where you come from.' Then you will find yourself saying, 'We once ate and drank in your company; you taught in our streets' but he will reply, 'I do not know where you come from. Away from me, all you wicked men!'

"Then there will be weeping and grinding of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, and yourselves turned outside. And men from east and west, from north and south, will come to take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God.

"Yes, there are those now last who will be first, and those now first who will be last."

____________________

More than ten years ago, when I first experienced the gift of tongues, someone told me that the gift of tongues is the only gift of the Holy Spirit which can be used for ourselves, and he used the first part of today's first reading to prove it to me. That was probably the first in many times I've heard that proof being used for the gift of tongues.

What can I say about the gift of tongues, except that it takes tremendous faith to believe that what one is babbling is actually words from the heart to God and that he understands our babble. Someone once scolded me for using the word 'babble', but really, to anyone listening to someone speak in tongues, can they honestly say that it isn't babble to them?

I have encountered maybe a handful of people who truly have the gift of tongues and use it wisely for the good of others. But for every one of these there are hundreds more who believe that they have the gift of tongues and use it for themselves. However, I am no expert on the gifts, so I cannot judge who does and who doesn't really have the gift. Best for me just to avoid it altogether.

Last night, I was thinking of something just before going to sleep. I was thinking about the glory. To be more precise, I was in the loo last night, looking at an ad which spoke of the glory of Rome. It was the ad for a documentary on TV. It showed a woman standing in an ancient Roman city where its roads were running with blood. Is that glory, I asked myself?

Yes. Glory is always accompanied by bloodshed. The glory of Rome was when the Romans shed the blood of those that opposed them, letting it run through the streets of their cities. However, the glory of the Lord was when the Lord shed his own blood for those who opposed him. That's the difference between the glory of the Lord and the glory of men.

So in the first reading, we read that God's Son shared his glory with those he justified, which means to say, those who are with him must also share in his glory by shedding their own blood for those who oppose the Son.

Are we willing to do such a thing? Are we willing to shed our own blood, to sacrifice ourselves so that others may live? Especially if these others are the ones that oppose us?

For those who are not willing, the Lord does not recognise. "Lord, Lord," they say to him, "we went to church every week to share in the meal with you", but he will reply, "Did you share in my glory? Did you give of yourself so that others may live?"

For those that the Son shares his glory with, he justifies them by the gifts he empowers each. These gifts are meant to be used for the good of others, not merely for ourselves. The narrow door is where many will try to enter by, but not succeed, for the only way to enter it is by bringing others to the door at our own expense.

To love others as He has loved us. And He literally loved us to death.
______________________

Prayer: We pray for those who oppose us, that the Lord may be merciful and forgiving to them.

Give Thanks to the Lord for: Sharing his glory with us.

Upcoming Readings:
27 Oct, Thu - Romans 8:31-39; Luke 13:31-35; green
28 Oct, Fri - Ephesians 2:19-22; Luke 6:12-19; Sts. Simon and Jude, apostles; red
29 Oct, Sat - Romans 11:1-2, 11-12, 25-29; Luke 14:1, 7-11; green


------------------------

Disclaimer: The reflections expressed in this e-mail are the writer's own. They may not necessarily reflect the teachings of the Catholic Church. Nonetheless we should all be able to learn something from it.

Monday, October 31, 2005

questions schmestions

i've come to realise that i am an exceedingly rational person, tempered with "righteous emotion". but what is rationality? what is "righteous emotion"? rationality is based upon logic, induction-proven causality, falsifiability, and solid premises not unlike morality. "righteous emotion" is as far as i would admit i am emotional, to the extent of righteous zeal, a fomenting rage against injustice, a profound compassion of the innocent sufferers. "righteous emotion" is also rightly predicated upon morality.

what then is morality? two threads exist: a) morality is the absolute laws of life as dictated by a supernatural authority, or b) morality are relative laws formulated through informal but extremely binding social contracts within any community.

if morality is absolute, it would make things much easier, since we don't even need to ask questions - the supernatural moral authority reigns supreme, and that authority being benevolent leaves no rational room for questioning. but the problem is that moral dilemmas are almost a daily affair! how can absolute morals reign over grey areas?

this problem does not exist if morality is relatively constructed within societies through the mechanism of social darwinism - the evolution of social action. morality exists in secular humanism insofar as morals have a function in achieving certain goals humanity has deigned of primal importance, for example, survival.

yet, in considering morals to be functional extensions of human goals, one must ask how do humans decide which goals to go for. it may seem like certain goals are simply rational (i.e. eliminating poverty), but philosophically, it is possibly tautological to consider morality predicated on rationality while rationality itself is predicated upon morality, unless rationality is amoral.

yet on the grounds that rationality is amoral, rationality loses its human connection and becomes as abstract as mathematics - a formulaic method of cogitation based within arbitrarily determined boundaries. this makes rationality more of a micro-managing tool suited for small problems rather than a macro-inclusive method suited for large problems such as moral dilemmas.

and so it may be that both types of morality exist - that of religious fundamentalism and secular humanism. some are laws from an as yet unseen authority, while others may be founded upon societal evolution - both higher authorities than the individual, upon which morals impress their influence. the etiology for these dichotomous morals are ever so subtly different, however. supernatural morality is intended (among other interpretations) to free the individual from worldly desires and cast spirituality (and the afterlife) as substantially more important reasons for life. natural morality is simply intended for the survival of the species while making life for the individual "better". note the highly subjective terms i am imposing here.

thus said, rationality may indeed corroborate both forms of morality: one being noumena-based to the extent that the afterlife and spirituality remain, as yet, unproven by scientific method, the other being phenomena-based to the extent that human survival is an observable occurence. some may consider noumena to be irrational, but descartes has also shown phenomena to be probably as frivolous. thus philosophically, both could be construed as rational premises, and thus applicable to rationality.

ergo, narrowness of emotion aside, i am one who accepts both in religious fundamentalism and secular humanism as authorities of morality, simply due to rationality. but what if these premises clash? that is when the appeal of "righteous emotion" steps in, as a "last resort" adjudicator.

but these... are aside from the times i revel in deconstruction. for in deconstruction, it is only rational (and right) to be absolutely neutral. nothing is to be spared deconstruction, not even morality.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

what's the hype all about?

hmm. apparently the martyn see documentary abt CSJ isn't very good in the documentary-sense. but oh well, it's only 105mb.

Singapore Rebel Download

in other news, candle has an Exco Exposé now!

"If i should ever walk in the valley of essays, no mindblock would I fear, You are there to get my As."

Sunday, October 16, 2005

epiphany #5

to do list...

sc2220 poster write up SOON... WHEN??
candle release 17/10 mon 8pm
ps2237 presentation 19/10 wed
cg planning wed
sc2220 reaction 21/10 fri
retreat announcement fri
candle 2nd follow-up fri
sc3101 essay 24/10 mon
cg planning wed
ph1101 essay 28/10 fri
cg planning wed
ps2237 essay 4/11 fri

incl.
retreat/bash poster
caroling locations: hollandse/minds/hospitals
exam rally backup
mm pub poster

and on top of all these... i'm thinking of shaking up nussu?? what am i thinking.
god help me.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

losing touch?

do you feel like reality is somewhere there, just beyond your fingertips, a slight hairline away from your grasp? do you feel like somewhere outside of your knowledge, something is moving ahead in an unknown direction while leaving you behind, stuck in a strangely abject loneliness that you don't even understand? does it sometimes seem like you exist only because you believe so, and that your significance hinges on that leap of faith?

well, you're not really alone la.

you just need to get re-introduced to your Ruling Elite.

but of course, you can also get introduced to your Average Cock-Talker.

life's a peachy peach: as long as you don't realise it's just a prune.

Law of Possible Impossibilities

this is what happens when you try some philosophy in the toilet...
Outcome X is possible so long as its probability is not zero.
Outcome X is impossible so long as its probability is not one.

If it is possible to gather Perfect Information,
Then probability will be absolute (zero or one).
Ergo, Outcome X is either possible or impossible.

If it is impossible to gather Perfect Information,
Then probability will be abstract (neither zero nor one).
Ergo, Outcome X is neither possible nor impossible.

Taking the probability of gathering Perfect Information to be neither zero nor one,
Perfect Information is neither possible nor impossible to gather.
Ergo, probability is neither absolute nor abstract.
Ergo, Outcome X is either impossibly possible or possibly impossible.
you get fantastic fallacies.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

it seems i may have been mistaken...

have Singaporeans really been apathetic?
Big-O [justin's recommendation!] says it slightly differently...

WHY SO QUIET $INGAPORE?

maybe we havn't been apathetic, but silenced.
maybe we havn't been politically inactive, but neutered.
maybe we havn't been opinionless, but disenchanted.
maybe it isn't what we are, but what they did.

of course, it could also be that most of the happy robots around me are simply brought up to be PAP sycophants, but that's probably just me and my overactive imagination la.

WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN [oh, really.]

yep, my new fave. mwahaha. even talks raunchy on the main page too!

Monday, October 10, 2005

22 & 4 days

that was a really strange day. after my mum reminded me of my birthday on monday (3/10) i couldn't help but wonder if anyone else remembered. this thought actually embarassed me, and i quickly told myself: it doesn't matter if anyone remembers la. already how old liao. eh. how old ah? for that moment i thought i was going 23. my poor brain... what have you been going thru??

and so on wednesday, i actually managed to forget that the next day would be my birthday. went about my usual wednesday schedule: skipping the 10am SC3101 lect, going for tuts, plan cg with carol, hang out at yih pretending to study. i can't remember how, but benjy got stuck at yih so i accompanied him, surfing silly websites, learning weird words etc. we were bugging joanne, and she actually remembered my birthday, and benjy was surprised. after the obligatory "happy birthday/thank you thank you" we went back to erm... kittenwars.com? something like that. joanna then smsed me happy birthday (HB), which still surprised me la.

so on thurs, i was actually mildly content, and went for th 8am philo. during lect, i bugged jon with my criticisms of Descartes, tho he says that kept him awake. i was beginning to be a bit suspicious as nobody seems to remember my bday at all - another embarassing thought! how could i be so demanding? ppl got so many deadlines to worry abt... why bother with my 23... 22nd birthday? not impt la.

but actually, they did remember! alph and gang brought me a tissue-box "birthday cake" complete with candles, with audrey chanting "cakes are a social construct!" this phrase is to be featured on the bday card audrey's gang made for me (in 2 whole hours). it was really funny to have a tissue-box cake tho! who else would ever have such a thing? and of course, there was a real cake, and the best present for me: an arts corner filled with the arts people... i was so amazed by the entire thing that i actually reassessed my judgment of birthdays as being pointless. mine revived arts corner! how cool is that? this effect was to flow into cg later, as a whopping 15 ppl turned up~ i only hope that it would last la.

but the celebration wasn't everything... stella called from hawaii to wish me~ and it so happened that jon & marcus were around too when she called, so the 4 of us had a mini-gathering... haha... it was 22min (where got so zhun one) of long-dist call before we all started worrying for her phone bill and hung up reluctantly. just when i thought getting an overseas phonecall for your birthday really rocks, i got another one the next day from erina~ oh how i miss her... but i suddenly wondered if she would come back with an american citizen baby. that would be AWESOME! please come back soon dear sis...

but those still weren't the most surprising phone calls i got. catherine's one was. i was almost shocked! the sad part was that i had lost her number when i changed phone... so i couldn't recognise her instantly. but her voice still made my heart skip a beat. the memories... i still haven't forgot

that night i had another birthday cake... at home. it's been more than half a month since i last went home, and the tv remote actually seemed remote! (pardon the puny pun.) for the first time in more than a decade, i actually sang the birthday song with my family... it was like a dream come true. just 5 yrs ago, this wouldn't have been possible. my family has gone such a long way... i couldn't help feeling a sense of pride... and pure joy.

i couldn't deny it any longer: i was touched. ppl were rushing for deadlines, remember? and yet they remembered. and celebrated with me. even though i myself was so skeptical abt birthdays. "birthdays are a social construct!" well, for that one day, it certainly didn't seem so.

thank you, everyone, for celebrating the "milestone" with me. i couldn't have made it this far without you!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

bye Dr. Chee, bye!

pardon the rather crude pun, but if even TalkingCock.com wouldn't dare rub shoulders with the Singapore Rebel, how is the deluded population ever going to know what he truly stands for?

if i have a link to the trailer of the banned political film Singapore Rebel, would you take a look? it's only 6MB - plus i'm risking the ISD's wrath here! ISA rules, you know.

and for those of you out there who still don't know who Dr. Chee Soon Juan is, read up. he may be the next fallen hero along the likes of Joshua Benjamin 'JBJ' Jeyaretnam [more here] or Chia 'Exiled to Sentosa' Thye Poh [more here], so don't wave him off by pointing to your pockets when he asks where is the money, but see him as who he is: a Singaporean.

also, see what LHL has been up to at LHL Watch.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:32

Thursday, September 29, 2005

losing the cool

plato vs aristotle...

descartes vs hume...

patriarchy and the catholic church...

singapore's realist foreign policy...

america's surreal relations with saddam...

decency of dress and masculine fear of feminine sexuality...

interchangeability of gender roles...

black and white rights and wrongs...

vatican expenditure...

the reality of the family...

that last topic was unfortunately discussed when i was most weary and mistrusting of the social fabric i've been woven into - and with my poor unsuspecting mother. imagine her astonishment when her son whom she misses so much questions her about the validity of her rudimentary notions of 'family' and 'sonship'.

"why don't you call back? everytime i call you you're busy..."
"you didn't expect me to be doing nothing in school right?"
"then don't need to call back? don't need to see your family?"
"what is family?"
"your own parents and your own brother in your own home... don't you miss them?"
"when i was home two weeks back i didn't get to see most of you anyway."
"but we saw you for a while..."
"a while only, then what's the difference!"
"doesn't it mean anything to you?"
"if family is seeing some person for a while once in a week, then you better think again."
"why... call you for a chat and end up talking like this..."
"that's family. gotta go, keep praying."

and i just wrote a philo essay supporting plato's proposal to take children away from their parents before they get to know each other. how much less critical would i be of the family? once again, the cool is lost at the most crucial of moments. poor mum.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

read more la.

"Cruel Irony Defined: A PAP Minister who takes home SGD100,000-SGD175,000 PER MONTH in tax dollars telling a worker (who earns SGD2,000 a month) to be "less choosy" and to work harder."

where is social activism in singapore?
Singapore Review (Yahoo! Group)

it's not non-existent. you just need to look for it.

on another note, perhaps you'd like to try out my survey! haha...
Readership of Alternative News Media

for others, here's a little something from God:
A Lamp Unto My Feet

Saturday, September 17, 2005

a christian love story I

Jesus says: "love one another as I have loved thee" how did He love us? by dying for our sins of course. He also says: "whosoever strikes thee on one cheek, offer the other to him." but of course, this is not without disclaimer: "whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto Me," he also says.

therein lies multiple dilemmas...
  1. are we to die for others' sins as well? it so seems that we should offer ourselves up for torture should anyone so desire to do so. in so doing, the christian thing would be to pray for the sinner even as that person rains suffering upon us. ultimately, either the prayer touches the person to stop, or we die for that person's sin. is that the way to go?

  2. unfortunately, dying for another's sin may not necessarily change the sinner's fate... for that person has seriously hurt Jesus as well! if God were to take a sinner's sins personally, God knows what's gonna happen to that incalcitrant peccant. won't you make sure that the bully who beats your kid up gets just punishment? and, if the bully is incalcitrant, that the kid gets expelled (or at least distanced permanently from your child)? in God's terms, defending his children would most likely involve limbo, purgatory, or eternal damnation...

  3. but then again, wouldn't that negate the poor christian's efforts? imagine the poor sucker who followed Christ's command and martyred himself so that a sinner may be saved - that fellow would have died in vain! couldn't it be said that the martyr-wannabe had given up God's most precious gift - life - for another to receive eternal punishment?

  4. this isn't the end of it... elsewhere, Jesus says: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." the second part is so far in line with the reasoning above, but the first part leaves us with much to worry! isn't he calling those who try too hard for one convert hypocrites? isn't he saying: "woe to you, martyr-wannabe"?

  5. the crux of this whole dilemma: should one offer one's life in an attempt to save another? it seems if we offer up God's gift in vain, the consequences are dire! so i'd say we offer the other cheek, but not to the extent of doing anything more drastic than that, or losing something dear to ourselves. ultimately, it is measured altruism and not flat-out selflessness that we should be aiming for, right?
on the other hand, the way i'm approaching the problem of this love story may be wrong from the start, of course. perhaps by putting these various verses of the New Testament together is already using them out of context, and i've already lost sight of the "spirit of the Word" in so doing. perhaps Jesus meant 'be tolerant and calm in the face of violent oppression' when He said "offer the other cheek." perhaps it was only meant as a teaching on revenge anyway.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

finger biting

i would like to stop biting my fingers. my fingers look in really bad shape... i am filled with pity for them. and i am appealing to all to lend your assistance: stop me if you see me inadvertently bringing those innocent fingers near my gaping mouth again! save them from the inhumane torture of the unfeeling finger-biter!

finger biting is wrong. finger biting must be cured. you can be a part of this noble mission.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

what is religion?

i'm stealing this from Oxygen (one of my healthier addictions):

DIFFERENT RELIGIONS

Jesus Christ said he had never been to a football match. So we took him to one, my friends and I. It was a ferocious battle between the Protestant Punches and the Catholic Crusaders.

The Crusaders scored first. Jesus cheered wildly and threw his hat high up into the air. Then the Punchers scored. And Jesus cheered wildly and again threw his had into the air.

This seemed to puzzle the man behind us. He tapped Jesus on the shoulder and asked, "Which side are you shouting for, my good man?"

"Me?" replied Jesus, by now visibly excited by the game. "Oh! I'm not shouting for eitehr side. I'm just here to enjoy the game."

The questioner turned to his neighbour and sneered. "Hmmm, an atheist."

On the way back we briefed Jesus on the religious situation of the world today. "It's funny about religious people, Lord," we said. "They always seem to think that God is only on their side and against the people on the other."

Jesus agreed. "That is why I don't back religions. I back people," he said. "People are more important than religions. Man is more important than the Sabbath."

"You ought to watch your words," one of us said with concern. "You were crucified once for saying that sort of thing, you know."

"Yes, and by religious people," said Jesus with a wry smile.

- De Mello (1000 Stories You Can Use, Volume One by Frank Mihalic, SVD)

Who do you back?

saturday morning

it was 9am when i first assumed i was awake. with seeming ease i had gotten out of bed, but then i had no clue why i woke up. why did i wake up? i spent the next few surreal minutes trying to elucidate. i even spoke to God. but all i had was a bunch of prescribed reasons for waking up: one shouldn't sleep too much lest one becomes a lazy ass, one has many things to do which require a state of awakeness, one could not reasonably exist in the real world while still stuck in dreamland.

by then i had washed up and was sitting in front of the ol' lappy. maybe i can continue reading stuff off the net? seems helpful... to get some momentum into doing whatever it was that i had to do. unfortunately, i sorta got stuck once again. the net is a powerful magnet, even when it's surfing something benign like wikipedia. the worse part of the deal is that this magnet drains you of your energy. and before i know it... i was back in my bed.

so there, i spent saturday morning pretending i was awake. now i could only wonder what saturday afternoon will be like...

*note to self: stuff to do includes media write-up (4/10), gender poster (11/10), prepping for social theory (24/10) & IR essays (4/11), finding out what to do for philo (?), catching up on (about 30) readings, shopping for hostel stores, collecting money from various various ppl, fixing lappy wireless, cantoring+guitaring for arts comm mass... should be all for now.

Friday, August 19, 2005

school

lessons have begun in earnest... as the freedom to waste time slowly seeps away, the feeling that you ought to be doing some work slowly creeps in. it's almost creepy.

time to be serious about work.

after all, i had a grand scheme in place. this attempt to plant myself in school (also known as spending $1,176 on RVR) was however, draining and disturbing. would one such as i ever get homesick? after misplacing my keys (but thankfully not losing them) twice within the same week... i realised how hopelessly un-independent i can be. simple problems such as a dusty room, my belongings being stuck in two locations, the strangely smelly shower foam, etc... but amazingly, i can get used to the room having a window that faces the corridor. am i an exhibitionist??

is this scheme gonna work? being stuck in sch, but also being stuck with lotsa other stuff to do... will it work out? only god knows.

settling in may be a bitch, but nothing is worse than cors! thanks to the lovely system jamming up, i conveniently forgot my munchie shift and went late for mm welcome tea. so is it cors screwing with our lives or is it just me and my confounded forgetfulness?

and this week still did not include CG or tutorials! notice how little i actually mentioned schoolwork... it almost seems like a timebomb waiting to explode in my face.

but i pray... and i stay in school... where i have great neighbours and great friends! what more do i need?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

epiphany #4

i was struck by this in the shower:
just because you caught my eye
doesn't mean you're on my mind
though i'm stuck in a lie
i was never out of line

it may be that i'm somewhat shy
but i'm still waiting for a sign
not one to make my heart fly
just one to make my soul shine

many are the chances passing us by
yet we don't have to look behind
maybe someday we'll stop asking why
and believe in love even though she's blind

not because you caught my eye
but because you are the love i've been trying to find.
am i beginning to feel something more than nothing?

Friday, August 05, 2005

think more, talk less

this is a perennial goal of mine - to stfu and just appreciate others' ideas. greg, everyone has heard your piece abt singapore politics, noone needs be updated on how you still like to be all-talk-no-action abt arts club, and by doubting god to the itsy-bitsiest details, are you trying to prove something to us? honestly, even i have had enough of myself - why can't i just pipe down?

that is, unfortunately, only the second half of the problem. talking less is really nothing compared to thinking more. what is thinking more? in purely quantifiable terms, thinking in greater variety and integrating oops (out-of-points) into the thought process would qualify as thinking more. but of course, that's more like thinking uselessly more. and i had just shown you how i think - uselessly and oop-ly. FOCUS, dammit!

here i am at the crossroads once again... will i ever satisfy this self-improvement project? or will i simply talk more think less...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

ass club

what is ass club? well it's actually arts and social sciences club, but nobody really cares or has enough energy to spell it out, so ass club really works just fine.

what do we do in ass club? typically, crack loadsa lame jokes abt each other, decide how next to act cool, and never actually setting down to real serious work for the faculty. well hey, just take a look at what they have "achieved" so far. what the hell is the point of having an ass club anyway. it's little more than having a freakshow union which we have to pay $40 every sem for.

why do ppl join ass club? simple. cca points, babes and hunks, platform for posing. represent the faculty? WHOA. we're ass club, not champions of civil society. organise activities for the faculty? sure! as long as we earn something more than experience out of it! showcase our talents? yeah. just like posing.

and why do i bother to type all this? i'm a lame-ass flamer who's gotten kinda sick of it all. ass club has some really great ppl, but the club is really just assinine.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

the week ahead

just a reminder of sorts.

monday: check in to rvr, yih day, mm mtg, grab vidcam from club rm and figure out how to transfer the clips.

tuesday: mtg some babes, settle bash video (hopefully complete it)

wednesday: more video work (if any left), job briefing (ndp-carnival)

thursday: screening of bash video, watch the island with someone

friday: cgl workshop

still quite manageable la.

epiphany #3

am i not just a poser?

Friday, July 29, 2005

crowds

the worst problem of modern society is gonna be overpopulation. one day, the severity of this problem will make justification of genocide practical. ethics & morality will bend to serve their master and life would become a priced commodity based on availability of resources.

so for now, being stuck in a crowd isn't all that bad. 50 years down the road, you might be employed in a company deciding which of these strangers gets to die to make way for others.

perhaps i should rethink my little aversion for crowds and learn to dwell in its unique cacophonous sanctity while it is still available. perhaps crowds in itself isn't a problem - but the demand for space is.

but without space, how can we play pool!? how else can i laugh at stupid tyco shots and losing the game by potting everything!? special mention to netto's amazing drive in trying to attain godlike pool skills. keep going man, while there's still space.

on a side note, i'm beginning to read other ppl's blogs. i feel like a weird voyeur. righttt... like as if i'm not already one huh. *splooch* here's a fun link: Why Singapore is a Pathetic Place

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

who is me

who is me?
that egotistical travesty
overconsuming amnesty
that construct between
you and me

who is me?
do the birds fly free
or is air controlling thee?
the point of view between
you and me

who is me?
a malfunctioning dichotomy
blithe evil wannabe holy
it's never simply between
you and me

who is me?
woe is me.

Monday, July 25, 2005

epiphany #2

aren't crushes a form of self-indulgence?

Saturday, July 09, 2005

desperate cockroaches

amazing as it is, even i have succumbed to watching that dreaded show abt desperate american women living broken lives even with all their wealth. but the key point was running into a cockroach on the way to the toilet during a break. the cockroach seemed startled, and was trying to squeeze itself thru one of the small holes in the kitchen drain cover. i duly smacked it and got its carcass flushed down the toilet, but not without wondering why God created these tough little guys. just so you know, they've survived on this planet for 300 million years, approximately 100x more ancient than the first human. but aren't they just pests now? in terms of ecological significance, cockroaches aren't important - ants do a much better job clearing up leftovers, and few animals consider cockroaches a major part of their diet. God, why'd you make these gross creatures then? i ruminated on these silly thoughts as i returned to desperate housewives.

it then dawned upon me. these vectors of various diseases, these motifs of ill hygiene in the modern urban setting - they merely serve to remind us how beneath all the pretty pretenses we put up, the filthiness and dirty secrets we ignore are only multiplying.

aren't we little more than desperate cockroaches?

Sunday, July 03, 2005

badminton idol


well, here's the man who did it. taufik hidayat... the year of the "taufiks" indeed. the singapore open really killed my eyes tho - too much to see! from impossible athletism to admirable sportsmanship, and also a plethora of good-lookers. which is why i need to rest my overworked eyes now... we'll see you again next year.

p.s.: i was working as line-judge/mopper. in case you guys really think i was simply watching the competition leisurely.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

epiphany #1

am i too afraid to love?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

the chronicle of sin

just a strange idea about life, sin, and heaven.

imagine you are a Sim - as in the blockbuster simulation game The Sims - and you make decisions about your life in a huge simulated world. everything you do is then recorded in all observable dimensions so that the human player - who is like playing god, almost - gets to see in every detail.

imagine your life is currently being recorded as well. imagine that none of it escapes - not what you peeped at, what you secretly thought of, what you pretended to be, everything - and God Himself is watching you right now. yes, right now. and he can playback any portion of your life if He wants to. in fact, since any soul who is in heaven is in direct Communion with Him, they actually all get to see what you're doing. so the last time you shouted 'jesus christ!' or 'mother of god!' they actually heard it - and possibly responded as well. indeed, if you had cried for any loved one who has risen to heaven, they saw the heart-wrenching moments and shared your sorrow personally.

well. if God has such a perfect surveillance system with such an attentive response team, how come we don't hear of it? it's actually pretty simple. because we eventually will, anyway. this is probably one of the rules of life - which is really one big test. of course, i wouldn't dare say that the scenario i described above is 100% truth (i haven't met God face to face for corroboration yet, but whoa, i can't wait!) that is where discernment comes in.

just imagine that moment when your life on earth finally ends and that video clip of your life is played back in full to you before God meets you. how would you feel thru-out that sitting? would you be cringeing in shame most of the time? would you be proud of yourself? or would you actually be able to see that God was already there most of the time, even before you met Him face to face?

in this little paradigm, i feel life is little more than a chronicle of how we spend the time given us away from direct contact with God. whether it turns out to be a chronicle of sin is a choice that He has given us.

perhaps this idea isn't so strange after all?

Friday, June 24, 2005

scenario A

scenario A: the burning banquet

it is your wedding dinner. you decided it was more impt to invite all the people you know than to only invite a select few, thus the dinner is to be held in an old warehouse (with appropriate decor of course). everyone was having a good time - it seems having 50 tables of family and friends wasn't gonna be a headache after all! indeed, things were going so smoothly, you quickly realised you were almost drunk. no worries! a breath of fresh air would do. thus, you slipped out for a really short moment.

unfortunately, things took a turn.

the old warehouse no longer had any fire safety measures, and a fire broke out just as you exited. the flammable building effortlessly stoked the flames, and within seconds, the entire building was fiercely ablaze.

would you rush in to save any of your loved ones?
if you only had enough time to save one of them, who would it be? why?
remember: you managed to invite everyone you know and they all turned up - therefore the person you save may very well be your sole relation after the disaster.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

recycling flyers!

when the thunder of innovation strikes: why not follow those irritating flyer-distributors, take as many from them as possible, and send it for recycling? not exactly a get-rich-quick scheme, but possibly more than all those poor distributors are likely to get. plus we get them off the streets, AND save the trees.

makes me feel like i should walk along orchard more often.

in other news, God freaked me out yet again. He said "greg, why are you persecuting me?" to me while i had a painful dump in the toilet. it seems like not looking after your body (the temple of God now) is kind of a sin too? the CCC gives pertinent advice.

orientation begins soon... and i can't wait!

Saturday, May 28, 2005

a time to share

some catholic links to brighten your day... and liven your faith:

The Holy See
- official site of the vatican, a link every catholic ought to have
http://www.vatican.va/archive/catechism/ccc_toc.htm
- full official text of the Catechism of the Catholic Church
CCC Search Engine
- separate page for easier navigation of the CCC
The Catholic Encyclopedia
- mountains of info on all things catholic
Papal Encyclicals
- helpful guide to the writings of the holy fathers
Catholic Answers
- site for doubters: recommend to all protestants!
Early Christian Writings
- repository of christian writings early in the church's history
Wikipedia: Doctor of the Church
- good starting point for exploring the history of catholicism
Wikipedia: Cultural and historical background of Jesus
- very long article on Jesus and his historical context
Fatima
- detailing the apparition of Mary at Fatima
Alexandrina
- about a woman who survived on the Eucharist for 13 years
Eucharistic Miracles
- affirming the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist
Oxygen
- daily sharings and liturgy by members of CSS!
Veritas
- home of the Catholic Archdiocese of Singapore
Bible Gateway
- online searchable bible (many versions as well...)

"With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Sunday, May 22, 2005

tethering

i am tethering on the end of a thread so thin only god knows why it hasn't snapped yet and dropped me into the gaping abyss lurking right underneath me, awaiting my next mistake - so it may swallow me and my entire state of hollow consternation in one schmaltzy smirk of sadistic satisfaction.

i may yet scream a silent burst of profuse frustration but not get a hoarse throat; i may yet balefully hurl my face into solid concrete but be safe from impact wounds; and i may yet conjure nonchalant aneurysms but still smile warmly in the morning sun.

i then realise that i truly and simply am inconsequential, that the world is not mine nor does it owe me centre-stage.

make me a servant, even if i tether on thin thread.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

the dream

someone: are you happy?
me: hmm? yeah, i should guess so.
someone: how happy are you?
me: erm... moderately?
someone: then what margin remains between your current happiness and true, complete happiness is what you need to wake up for.

me wakes up. and goes, "whoa..."

Saturday, May 07, 2005

slight feeling

-zoning out-

these days, the feeling of feeling nothing is becoming exuberantly frequent... it's almost like getting high, but then nothing is spinning and there's no zany euphoria. maybe a little more like being lightheaded without the giddiness or fainting spell. it's when you stare at something... and the object dominates your attention so completely that you forget who you are, where you were, or what you should be doing. it may not even be something corporeal - i spent a cool fifteen minutes pondering the wondrous innovation known also as the doorstopper. yet it is still distinctly different from simply zuobo-ing because a vital sensation is present: wonder itself. ah... the wonder of wondering aimlessly... which is why it is not just simple langour, but more of a slight feeling. leaning on the edge of exploding into frantic emotion, yet firmly tethered by that fuzzy tinge of tranquility. is this the feeling of life par excellence? the mood an art afficionado enthralls with while appreciating the intricacies of a Van Gogh or Carravagio... the liberating tumult a father gets watching his first child's birth... the fleeting tickle in the cyclist's tummy as he speeds over a hill and experiences zero gravity... it's like realising you've fallen in love with life again.

all that just because the exams are over. heh.

Monday, May 02, 2005

dumb dweeb dumb

just a dumb clip...
Institute for Backup Trauma
have fun!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

it's really not THAT hard...

English Genius
You scored 92% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 93% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I
can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon
intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You
have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly!
Way to go!


Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!



For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.




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Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

Friday, April 29, 2005

apologetics I

why am i so anal about the minor discomforts of life?

i'd like to propose 2 general reactions to experience minor discomforts in everyday life: the accepting approach and the rejecting approach. by minor discomforts i refer to stuff like lousy weather, crappy rules, poorly designed structures - disappointing encounters which may or may not be typically ignored. generally non-life-threatening pecularities that could otherwise be rather easily improved upon (in my opinion).

accepting approach - "why bother complaining?" "it's not that bad, just tolerate lor." "that's normal what." "don't be so anal lar." "get over it. move on." this approach has various merits. its adopters need not spend any time or effort troubling themselves with whatever's "not really wrong anyway." purporters may appear "cool" and "unaffected," perhaps choosing to ignore what may be off their list of priorities. hence, such persons may also appear prioritised and wise.

rejecting approach - "why is this not fixed?" "it's such a simple detail - and they can't get it right." "so screwed up." "why don't you care?" "i can't believe i'm paying taxes for this." this approach seems unpopular. fierce advocates tend to be social critics with no social life - spending too much time trying to fix (or suggest strategies to improve )what may not even be broken. everything seems to be against them, and they appear stressed out over the most anal of things.

so why do i tend to take the latter approach more? there is a crucial variable that i omitted on purpose: knowledge. what if i choose the second approach based on knowledge? that i simply know something to be wrong whereas others simply do not know it? may seem a wimpish excuse to most who adopt the first approach, or may even seem like an insulting retort. but the next time i am anal about something, perhaps it isn't that i am taking the rejecting approach for the aim of being anal, but for the sake of improvements that acceptors can't be bothered with.

maybe i am not anal, just observant!

Monday, April 25, 2005

dilbertisation

enjoy~






great, ain't it?
go giv'em some hits: Dilbert.com

Saturday, April 23, 2005

am i trying too hard?

there's a feeling inside of me
beckoning to be set free
an impulse of unkown origin
yearning to stretch me thin
where am i going with this? when i squeeze my neurons to shoot the next one-liner, who am i trying to impress? when i spend inordinate amounts of time trying to right my hairstyle, who am i showing it to? when i decided to turn my life topsy-turvy all in the name of mugging, whatever for?

and there are those times when i wish i hadn't said something lame... times i wished i didn't step forward... times i wished to banish those wily impulses and commend myself to inaction. even if it were my destiny/responsibility/calling to do whatever, be wherever, act whoever, i seem to have forgotten the real question: why even?

and now i realise... that not only have i been trying too hard; i've been trying too hard without qualifying.

...

or maybe it's just stress and all this is crap!!

Friday, April 22, 2005

where have i been??

nice place, eh? Posted by Hello


my fellow countrymen in mugnation! Posted by Hello


my very own table in the lib... Posted by Hello


the table companions! Posted by Hello


my dearest jon~ Posted by Hello


my dearest alexis~ Posted by Hello


so you see... i havn't disappeared from the face of the earth! (tho i guess i'd probably prefer that state of existence... wait, is that a state of existence? or a state of non-existence? or is that a state of being that is extenuated by the didactic aggrandisement of squalid ersatz suzerainty? nevermind.) i've been busy trying to involve my lazy ass in productive activity! but of course, i havn't really produced anything yet. hmm. stay tuned for grades-day!! wahahahaha.

mugnation (n.) a despotic, totalitarian state committed to creating an orwellian dystopia on the premise of cryptic academic advancement, vague humanistic progress, and "mountains of cash." citizens may work without eating, sleeping, or thinking, while inadvertently reinforcing each others' belief in the lies of the mugging superstructure. a bi-annual ritual known only as "the finals" serves to occupy their very lives, with the outcomes being significant enough as to decide the future of each insignificant individual. other notable eccentricities of mugnation include: instant guilt from freedom or enjoyment, exceptional talent in digesting words without understanding, and altruistic waterbottle refilling volunteers.