did you know that...
every thought expressed in discernible means is the beginning of influence?
every spoken/written word represents an exercise of power?
every name called upon signifies the caller's right to summon the name?
every sentence constructed alludes to the constructor's grammatical and semantic competence?
every social being is an interlocutor of varying combinations of hegemonic forces?
every individual's existence contains myriad repercussions for society?
every communicated meme, every interpreted meaning, every fragment of knowledge, combines in unaccounted manners to form reality?
every attempt to appraise/encounter reality distorts truth?
... and now you regret, for i've screwed with your head. told ya i'm powerful!!!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
tio virus
i'm proud to announce: my lappy has kena virus! it's called worm.win32.small.r (according to kaspersky's antivirus). my original antivirus prog (AVG by Grisoft) suddenly stopped updating abt a week ago, and suddenly my com kena virus. how did i find out?
when the grad video refused to play last friday.
my heart sank as i felt my friend's hearts sink. a gigantic wave of pure wrath tsunami-ed my puny brain. i almost cracked my lappy in half there and then! but somehow, perhaps with the altar right beside me, i managed to cool it a bit. kudos to marc, gary, and aaron who were there to absorb my frustration... sorry guys.
we had prepped quite a bit for the video. we tried our best to plan the mass, making sure the bookmarks were there, the announcers knew what to do, the petitions had time to be written... but mass still failed to be on time. why huh? why the mad rush to save time? and how come the damned planning still fail?
maybe cos God wishes us to spend more time in Him?
geez. i'd like to see that one get broadcast to the community. i honestly haven't been honest enough, but sometimes, i feel we don't try enough to be Christian. so what if mass starts late? so what if the announcements seem neverending? i don't sense a shred of empathy for what we're going thru, much less the cooperation we're so desperately seeking. now i know how it must have hurt when i accused joel of not planning the new year goodies fundraising well enough (last year). o the rawness of the wounds still bite unceasingly - and i must cast them upon my Lord lest i explode one day.
perhaps it wasn't just the lappy that tio virus... perhaps the virus is more virulent than i expected. i want so much to serve... but if i can't accept the cross as He did, then perhaps i'm only trying to serve for my own sake. now i must disinfect this virus of mine and serve Him for His people's sake.
and let's hope i get my lappy back soon!
when the grad video refused to play last friday.
my heart sank as i felt my friend's hearts sink. a gigantic wave of pure wrath tsunami-ed my puny brain. i almost cracked my lappy in half there and then! but somehow, perhaps with the altar right beside me, i managed to cool it a bit. kudos to marc, gary, and aaron who were there to absorb my frustration... sorry guys.
we had prepped quite a bit for the video. we tried our best to plan the mass, making sure the bookmarks were there, the announcers knew what to do, the petitions had time to be written... but mass still failed to be on time. why huh? why the mad rush to save time? and how come the damned planning still fail?
maybe cos God wishes us to spend more time in Him?
geez. i'd like to see that one get broadcast to the community. i honestly haven't been honest enough, but sometimes, i feel we don't try enough to be Christian. so what if mass starts late? so what if the announcements seem neverending? i don't sense a shred of empathy for what we're going thru, much less the cooperation we're so desperately seeking. now i know how it must have hurt when i accused joel of not planning the new year goodies fundraising well enough (last year). o the rawness of the wounds still bite unceasingly - and i must cast them upon my Lord lest i explode one day.
perhaps it wasn't just the lappy that tio virus... perhaps the virus is more virulent than i expected. i want so much to serve... but if i can't accept the cross as He did, then perhaps i'm only trying to serve for my own sake. now i must disinfect this virus of mine and serve Him for His people's sake.
and let's hope i get my lappy back soon!
Friday, April 13, 2007
politics is emotional
take heed: i'm gonna be lambasting emotion and politics in one bold stroke.
everyone has feelings. everyone has 5 layers of maslow-desires. everyone is an id, ego, and superego rolled into one. everyone performs that social role to the best they can because they feel it "fits". (i'm citing loads of random theories just to sound academic. don't cite me.) but basically, everybody lives their lives as if they're the centre.
nobody seems to see the Christ in anyone else but themselves.
how do you serve when you're emotional? how do you pray when you feel trapped in that powerful negative emotion? what is one supposed to do with anger, hate, disappointment, irritation, betrayal, jealousy, rejection, depression?
you become reactionary.
stemming from that internally justified rationale of righting the imbalanced emotion, you work on your self-esteem. you decide you shall stand down no longer and stand up for what you stand for. and in standing up, you cast mighty shadows upon your opponents. a line is drawn. the self and the other are created. it's me against the world - you are either for us or against us.
where's the Christ in this? how can one be Christian if they draw such bounding boundaries?
well, there's one simple way: by becoming political.
anger: i'm not angry with you. i'm angry with your ideas. which are thought of by you, so you get some of the anger-flak. i apologise if i seemed so, but really, i'm not angry with you. just the damned ideas.
hate: i don't hate you. i just hate the way you squirm about. stop being such a flip-flop; stand for something i can digest! don't do such hate-able things. even then, i won't hate you.
disappointment: you don't disappoint me. you had it rough. man is created weak and we only constantly weaken ourselves. i'd have done the exact same thing. it's really not your fault. i'm not disappointed.
irritation: you're not irritating, you're doing what you need to do. i understand where you're coming from and i know where you're bringing us. our perspectives may differ but i respect your non-irritating attempts at irritation.
betrayal: you didn't betray me. it was a mere miscommunication. the broken telephone line. the hustle and bustle of urban freneticism. the junk in the dna. you couldn't have betrayed me. i don't feel betrayed.
jealousy: i'm not jealous. i thank God that you're blessed in your special way. i'm amazed at His obtusely amazing plans. i'm glad He's created you unequal. now you don't get jealous of me!
rejection: i wasn't rejected. i wasn't brushed aside. my stand was weak - full of loopholes. my ill-conceived plan was rejected. i'm not gonna take it personally.
depression: i'm not spiralling. i'm free as a bird, strong as a tree! with my God beside me, inside me, between me, how could i feel such an odd emotion? i'm only mildly saddened.
now, now... how could that be political? you tell me. you say one thing and mean another. you judge, pre-judge, and re-judge, then claim you are objectively non-judgemental. you respect the almighty norm of formality and eloquence, but you think in one-dimensionally hurtful words. how could a Christian think such thoughts? noooo... to be one, you gotta swallow it all. don't throw Christ's face: be two-faced.
man is an irritatingly political animal - because he's emotional. but when he's Christ-like - i'm betting my life on this - the emotions all become positive, and the politics becomes a silly annoyance in the back of his head.
why disagree when you can try and try again? why have faith when you already believe?
when you pray, close your door. when you give, your left hand doesn't know. when you save a person, you don't make him twice as worthy of hell. when you fast, be happy. when you serve, turn the other cheek.
everyone has feelings. everyone has 5 layers of maslow-desires. everyone is an id, ego, and superego rolled into one. everyone performs that social role to the best they can because they feel it "fits". (i'm citing loads of random theories just to sound academic. don't cite me.) but basically, everybody lives their lives as if they're the centre.
nobody seems to see the Christ in anyone else but themselves.
how do you serve when you're emotional? how do you pray when you feel trapped in that powerful negative emotion? what is one supposed to do with anger, hate, disappointment, irritation, betrayal, jealousy, rejection, depression?
you become reactionary.
stemming from that internally justified rationale of righting the imbalanced emotion, you work on your self-esteem. you decide you shall stand down no longer and stand up for what you stand for. and in standing up, you cast mighty shadows upon your opponents. a line is drawn. the self and the other are created. it's me against the world - you are either for us or against us.
where's the Christ in this? how can one be Christian if they draw such bounding boundaries?
well, there's one simple way: by becoming political.
anger: i'm not angry with you. i'm angry with your ideas. which are thought of by you, so you get some of the anger-flak. i apologise if i seemed so, but really, i'm not angry with you. just the damned ideas.
hate: i don't hate you. i just hate the way you squirm about. stop being such a flip-flop; stand for something i can digest! don't do such hate-able things. even then, i won't hate you.
disappointment: you don't disappoint me. you had it rough. man is created weak and we only constantly weaken ourselves. i'd have done the exact same thing. it's really not your fault. i'm not disappointed.
irritation: you're not irritating, you're doing what you need to do. i understand where you're coming from and i know where you're bringing us. our perspectives may differ but i respect your non-irritating attempts at irritation.
betrayal: you didn't betray me. it was a mere miscommunication. the broken telephone line. the hustle and bustle of urban freneticism. the junk in the dna. you couldn't have betrayed me. i don't feel betrayed.
jealousy: i'm not jealous. i thank God that you're blessed in your special way. i'm amazed at His obtusely amazing plans. i'm glad He's created you unequal. now you don't get jealous of me!
rejection: i wasn't rejected. i wasn't brushed aside. my stand was weak - full of loopholes. my ill-conceived plan was rejected. i'm not gonna take it personally.
depression: i'm not spiralling. i'm free as a bird, strong as a tree! with my God beside me, inside me, between me, how could i feel such an odd emotion? i'm only mildly saddened.
now, now... how could that be political? you tell me. you say one thing and mean another. you judge, pre-judge, and re-judge, then claim you are objectively non-judgemental. you respect the almighty norm of formality and eloquence, but you think in one-dimensionally hurtful words. how could a Christian think such thoughts? noooo... to be one, you gotta swallow it all. don't throw Christ's face: be two-faced.
man is an irritatingly political animal - because he's emotional. but when he's Christ-like - i'm betting my life on this - the emotions all become positive, and the politics becomes a silly annoyance in the back of his head.
why disagree when you can try and try again? why have faith when you already believe?
when you pray, close your door. when you give, your left hand doesn't know. when you save a person, you don't make him twice as worthy of hell. when you fast, be happy. when you serve, turn the other cheek.
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