save the world?

after a hellishly hot night of rolling around in bed trying not to sweat, I'VE HAD IT.


i'm gonna save the world from climate change!

are you one of the bushies who don't believe in it? well, here's the proof:

• Warming of the climate system is unequivocal.
• Most of (>50% of) the observed increase in globally averaged temperatures since the mid-20th century is very likely (confidence level >90%) due to the observed increase in anthropogenic (human) greenhouse gas concentrations.
• Hotter temperatures and rises in sea level "would continue for centuries" even if greenhouse gas levels are stabilized, although the likely amount of temperature and sea level rise varies greatly depending on the fossil intensity of human activity during the next century.
• The probability that this is caused by natural climatic processes alone is less than 5%.
• World temperatures could rise by between 1.1 and 6.4°C (2.0 and 11.5°F) during the 21st century and that:
• Sea levels will probably rise by 18 to 59 cm.
• There is a confidence level >90% that there will be more frequent warm spells, heat waves and heavy rainfall.
• There is a confidence level >66% that there will be an increase in droughts, tropical cyclones and extreme high tides.
• Both past and future anthropogenic carbon dioxide emissions will continue to contribute to warming and sea level rise for more than a millennium.
• Global atmospheric concentrations of carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide have increased markedly as a result of human activities since 1750 and now far exceed pre-industrial values over the last 650,000 years.

[more or less verbatim from the wikipedia article on IPCC.]

anyway, back to saving the world. here's my little manifesto:
- switch off ALL appliances when i'm not using them or around them for 2 minutes or more. i.e. if i'm taking a shower, i turn off all the lights and fans in my room until i get back. in fact, i will also AT LEAST switch the laptop to low power mode. if not i can't bathe in peace.

- save water. i don't have the figures now, but i do know that water purification is probably a very energy intensive process. maybe i'm saving 10kWh for every 10 litres i save, which would translate into maybe 10 moles less pollutants? it's worth it to me.

- buy less. of EVERYTHING. you know what's consumption? that's eating the world away, one small piece at a time. i will not purchase anything for pure fickle pleasure until the capitalist mode of production is able to at least recycle >50% of its products. i will also try to read up on each manufacturer's history to determine if they are eco-friendly or not, and avoid products from companies who have a bad history. this INCLUDES FOOD. they are consumables.

- i will enjoy my public transport. damn, singapore is so small, public transport is barely an hour from anywhere to anywhere! AND you save the world too... what's not to enjoy man? the tv-mobile? heh... maybe.

- i will preach relentlessly about this. i know that my own efforts can barely make a dent on climate change... unless i also do my part in promoting MENTALITY CHANGE. will you change your mentality about saving the world and walk with me?

now... if anyone is free, please help me check up on the power usage ratings of the common daily household appliances... is there a way to tally how much we're saving the world? i think this is quite do-able and might actually be fun!

more distance

it's finally a day to slack since the exams ended and jon gave me the mission to go serve css... but all i can think about is how i've tried so hard to be loving (i really did) and only ended up feeling distance.

it strangely started with a love letter from steph & fel... it was a cheesy thingy la, and i was really quite happy to get it still (being my usual crappy self), but now that i have it, i dunno... it's not like they don't uncheesily love me or that i only love them cheesily, but i just... feel... distant. how do you love someone if you have no idea what's going on? how do you love someone if they are merely people you go out with or do css projects with? what kind of love is it when you're happy to see them just because they're at a meeting with you?

and furthermore i have been bugging half of css these days - the projects need manpower. while thinking up names to call, i was ever so aware of each soul's fragility - for some, this could be a huge opportunity to turn back to God, while for others, simply another annoying Christian to ignore. and even as i knew i had to push only in all gentleness, i heard a voice scream silently in my head: YOU are so fragile! that was when i knew i really needed Christ to be beside me in every little thing i do... or I will end up fluctuating again. but even if i'm not distant from my Lord... i still felt so far away from my dear friends whom i'm trying to contact...

but am i really trying? or am i merely hoping for more tools to help prop up the cantankerous machinery of css? am i pushing gently for people to help out or merely pushing them further away? there is no fear in love... then why am i so seized?

i went blog-visiting in my spare time (3-5am) hoping i could see a little warmth and closeness. i ended up posting the weirdest of posts: "i feel like i'm losing touch with you." amidst all the meetings i've been attending, the only thing i feel really close to is the work - having been there and done it all. the people are ever just out of reach... a sliver of translucent material just obscuring my grasp... i see them and i call out...

but only my voice comes back to me.

ascension @ novena

didn't really like the priest's sermon... too accusatory. may leave bitter taste in many mouths. however, his words do make sweet meditative fodder. this hymn, however, i had to take home:

Chords for "O God, You Search Me"
Psalm 139, tune by Bernadette Farrell
Duration: [X] = [Y] [Y] = [Z] [Z] [Z] [Z]

O [D] God, You [G/D] search [D] me [A/D] and [D] You [A] know [D] me. [D/C#]
[G/B] All my [Dadd9/F#] thoughts lie [G] open [Bm] to Your [Asus4] gaze. [A]
When I [Bm] walk [Bm/A] or lie [G] down You [A/G] are be-[F#m]fore [Bm] me: [Bm/A]
[G7M] E-ver the [Em7] ma-[D/F#]ker and [G] keeper [A] of my [Dsus4] days. [D]

You know my resting and my rising.
You discern my purpose from afar,
And with love everlasting You besiege me:
In ev'ry moment of life or death, You are.

Before a word is on my tongue, Lord,
You have known its meaning through and through,
You are with me beyond my understanding:
God of my present, my past and future, too.

Although Your Spirit is upon me,
Still I search for shelter from Your light.
There is nowhere on earth I can escape You:
Even the darkness is radiant in Your sight.

For You created me and shaped me,
Gave me life within my mother's womb.
For the wonder of who I am I praise You:
Safe in Your hands, all creation is made new.

had a really hard time finding the chords to this fantastic song... thanks to grace (law grad, yr of 2006) who transcribed this to me from scores... hopefully it's true to original! your creator knows you thru and thru... so there's no shame, only love.

this changed my life today!

well, it's a pretty simple webpage, the content would go down for almost anyone. and the message rocked my world. haha. watch the video!

http://www.hollywoodblasphemy.com/

luckily spiderman doesn't swear! =)

i am liminal

it's already my last paper... but like every other sem before this, the last paper is still the hardest to focus and revise for. aside from the exams themselves being so problematic and full of contradictions - not unlike my liminal self - i keep rationalising until i find this entire enterprise pointless. my head is truly a mess of fallacies!

i disagree with studying for the sake of grades. i should be enjoying my studies - it should be an endeavour aimed at enriching my knowledge, so that i may one day contribute to this growing mass... of trite, self-glorifying trivia? in enriching my knowledge, will that really amount to any sizable contribution in the future? besides... i don't think much of what i'm studying is truly worthy of respect anyway - much of it remains impenetrable to mere undergrads; the rest of it points at such obscure abstractions as to be barely useful in any sense.

some theories seem little more than attempts to publish so as to make a living. others seem like fiction which can't compete with real fiction authors. some are even like spiritual epiphanies from a higher realm, concepts which thrive upon so many interwoven hypotheses as to resemble theology or mythology more than a social theory based on real society. and of course... reality itself becomes hard to grasp.

where am i going with all this? so i'm trying to make sure i do a little better than if i had went for the paper without any revision at all... so i'm merely like the paranoid students i make fun of once in a while... so the grade does matter (i think) in whether i get to do my masters... well, the biggest 'so' in my head now is really... "so what?"

so what if i do do a little better? so what if i manage to maintain second uppers and end up doing masters? so what if i continue to feel so liminal, locked in a micro-universe besieged by endless, rationalising, discontinuous, ingenuous, pretentious, sanity-warping thoughts?

i will merely happen upon this feeling of liminality once more. damn you anthropologists - you think you figured out something about humanity, but you only got someone else planetstruck!